Do you find yourself saying “Nothing satisfies this ache in my heart? Nothing …” I did.
There’s a loneliness you feel that has nothing to do with your life as you know it. Right?
There’s an ache in your heart that you cannot fill.
It’s not from lack of food. Or lack of a boyfriend or girlfriend.
It’s not from some lack in your childhood.
I’ve felt it for years and called it loneliness. I didn’t know what else to call it.
When did the answer come to me? I’m not exactly sure. But if you’re ready to hear it, I’d like to share it with you.
You know how you can sorta pick up on how a person’s feeling when you know them really well? They don’t have to say anything necessarily. If they do, you hear “it” in the tone of their voice. If they don’t, you see it in their movements, their pace, some action they take betrays it to you, for you know them so well. You ask what’s up, what’s wrong. They shrug. Now you know you’re onto something.
That is how it is with God when we ignore Him, when we think we can get along in our life without Him. It takes us a long time, sometimes, to figure out how wrong we are. Good thing God is patient. He waits forever, although we may get some soul nudges from time to time.
“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.” St. Augustine
That ache. It’s your soul; its longing for connection with the One Who made you. And it’s His ache too, for He’s so near to you that your soul picks up on it, the same way you know when a good friend is hurting. I know, I know. You probably don’t think He’s very near at all, way up in heaven and hardly paying attention to you. That’s how I used to think. It’s convenient to think that way because if He’s not paying attention all the time, that means we ought to be able to get away with a few things when He’s not looking, when He’s busy with the more important matters on any given day.
The truth is we are the most important matter to Him. You and me. He waits for us like a new parent hovering over an infant making sure it is still breathing as it sleeps.
Our soul picks up on this. It senses His nearness and aches to be held by Him.
That’s the ache.
The only way to get rid of it is to turn to Him. Let Him in. Desire to have a closer relationship than you have now. Opening your heart to Him eases the ache and brings you peace.
It does. It’s okay to try. No commitment. Just close your eyes and try and sense Him. Get quiet. Let your soul in stillness wait. He will come. And when He does, your ache will melt.