Part 1

It seems I’m to learn about letting go. You know how the universe sends you what you need? Whether you like it or not? Whether you asked or not?

I’m learning to let go.

Lessons started late last summer. Someone who bullied my husband and I for over a year got physical. He tried to start a fight but my husband wasn’t buying in. The physical line was crossed, however, and our concern for our safety soon outweighed our pleasure at living on the water near this child of God who was acting like a child.

Letting Go of the View.

I didn’t want to move. Neither of us did. But the fatigue of watching each other’s backs and wondering when the next incident with this child of God would occur made our decision definitive. We had to move. We couldn’t continue to live like this.

driving on the road photoI mourned the loss of our perfect home. For fifteen years, we watched mullets jump and osprey fight for their territory against the local eagles over the water. When fishing tournaments launched, we sat with drinks in our hands and counted over 100 boats inch their way out of the marina. On foggy mornings or sunny afternoons, we’d see tug boats glide by way across near the opposite shore.

Trusting that God would provide us something equally nice, I had to let go of the hope that we’d find a home on the water again. Hurricane Michael had just devasted the area 40 miles away. It seemed any waterfront properties that had been available had been pulled to be offered as rentals to the newly homeless.

We found a home. It had a small lake in the back – more like a pond – but we had a waterview and the bay was very near. We could kayak to it from our yard. And it was a beautiful home, much nicer that the one we left.

Learning to Let Go of the Stuff

for sale photo Photo by JeepersMedia

Our charitable tax deductions grew last year from all the belongings we pulled from cabinets and closets and the garage. Goodbye stuff.

“You’re off to a good start,” said the realtor. We had more work to do, apparently, to stage the place. More ideas, attitudes, and items to release. It’s fascinating to watch how hard you hold onto stuff. A few months later, we had to let go of the lovely beach tone walls we had painted four years ago in order to paint everything a neutral color – something called greige, a mix of grey and beige that’s on trend for the moment.

On vacation, we had to let go of our fear that my husband’s condition would worsen before we’d return to the states and have his double hernia repaired. We let go of our desires to explore sites further since we were travelling with a group. and our desire for more sleep when the tour guide declared the departure time of 8:00 a.m.

After returning to the states, I had to let go of more sleep when I decided that I should drive five hours to our daughter’s home. She was nine months pregnant with pneumonia and two boys under five years old. She’d never get rest to heal without some help. I’d suffer from jet lag no matter where I slept.driving on the road photo
Photo by meg.dai

Countless letting go moments ensued over the next month before and after it came time for the baby to be born. At the indoor gymnasium, our grandsons jumped into deep foam pits. One came out without his socks. I made a move to try and find them. “Let them go, Mom,” my daughter coaxed.

It’s hard letting go. I’m still working on letting go of the desire to retaliate against the child of God acting like a child.

(Learning to Let Go…to be continued in Part 2)

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